CRITIQUING THE CRITIC - HOW'S THAT FOR A SLICE OF FRIED GOLD!

a lot of people have asked me how i come up with my ratings for films, and i think it is only fair for me now to try and explain it. because my ratings are out of 5 (instead of 10), each digit is worth taking into account. so here goes. i'll provide a brief explanation and give examples as i go, but take note that different aspects of different films have significant weight.

things i typically take into account include:
acting, perfomance
directing, editing
themes and concepts explored
production values
overall package

1/5 - ABSOLUTE SHITHOUSE.
this rating, which i have yet to give, is awarded to films that have no redeeming qualities. not even good production values or underlying concepts could salvage such a shit movie. i can't think of any film that immediately comes to mind, apart from maybe "2001: A Space Odyssey", which was excruciating to sit through. i wanted to stab myself in teh eye with a pencil - twice.

2/5 - WATCHABLE
generally production values along can push a film into this category. take Star "Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" for example. the movie was shit, but it looked nice and had decent special effects. films that get this rating are usually good on a superficial level, but when you dig a little deeper and try to make sense of it, it just becomes stupid. but production values doesn't trump acting or character development.

3/5 - BETTER THAN GOOD
from 2 to 3, there's plenty in between. films that elicit some kind of emotional response in a decent overall package get this rating. an example is "Fantastic Four"; while the story was very dry and A to B, the characters and the script work well together, making it enjoyable jsut to sit back and watch. films that get this rating are usually ones that have a good set of characters and utilises them to tell a solid, even if ho-hum, story. furthermore, a 3/5 means i've probably seen the movie more than twice, which is enough to suggest that it deserves such a rating.

4/5 - AWESOME
generally, no critic will ever give full marks unless they're being paid to. and unfortunately, i aint getting paid. films that get this rating are brilliant in nearly all the aspects i have listed above. the fusion of great directing, cast performances, and story will push a film into this bracket. "Life as a House" and "Batman Begins" are two examples of such greatness. Both tell an interesting story, both have their own different but distinctly excellent directing, and the cast members have put thier heart and soul into their performances. if a film gets a 4/5, it's pretty damn good.

5/5 - FUCKING BRILLIANT
i've only ever given two films this rating, "The Incredibles" and "Shaun of the Dead". both times it was an immediate rating, i didn't have to think about it cos these films are so damn good. the 5/5 is usually awarded where the film, on a subjective level, makes me change the way i think, or inspires me to do something. taking into account all the above mentioned aspects of film and filmmaking, movies that get this rating have definitely fulfilled those. but as i said, subjectivity is a funny thing. if a film affects me in a profoud way, it'll get that 5.

there you have it, it may have just made things a hell of a lot more confusing, but i think you kinda get the picture. basically all i'm saying t you really is this: the rating system might seem inconsistent, but if you really think about it, all films are different and should therefore be looked at in differnt ways. ulitmately, that means rating the film as i see it.

-LOki

FANTASTIC FOUR

3/5
ioan gruffudd, jessica alba, michael chiklis, chris evans, julian mcmahon

another marvel film. i heard people saying the story was pretty dry, and that the characters were very cardboard. and they were probably right. but to the film's credit, the script and timing of certain dialogue worked perfecting, eliciting a laugh of an "awwww!" all at the right times. at the session i was at, the audience was very responsive.

i've never read a fantastic four comic, nor had i ever seen the cartoon... so what i was watching was completely new to me. the film though seemed more like prelude than an actual movie as it mainly focussed on how they got thier powers and the immediate aftermath. there was no real gripping story, it was as if the film existed in isolation to the rest of the world.

but anyway... i think performance wise, FF was good. although the characters were VERY archetyped, the cast pulled them off remarkably well. a particular mention goes to mike chaklis for his protrayal of the Thing; all his scenes, to me at least, were the emotionally heavy ones, and being in a huge organe suit didn't stop him from executing those emotions perfectly.

johnny storm AKA the human torch (played by evans, "not another teen movie" and "cellular") is the literally hot-headed loose cannon that can't wait to use his powers. contrast that with sue storm (alba) who is the conservative, rational, but bold type. then there's richard reeds (gruffudd), the guy who analyses everything before taking one step. these archetypes provide a good foundation for conflict and resolution, but they seemed to caluclated too be truly believable.

victor von doom (mcmahon) is the power-hungry billionaire who is pretty much the typical bad guy as well - all he wants is power, world domination, blah blah blah.

stand-out performances were by chalkis as previously mentioned, and evans as the human torch, proding both comedic relief, and a perspective on what most people would do with their powers: show them off!

SFX were integrated well into the film; they were placed throughout the entire film instead of having two or three huge sequeneces that were full of them. i think that made their powers more 'real', since they used them for every day thigns and not only for crime fighting or whatever. there were obvious blue/green screen shots, but they can be overlooked since the human torch SFX were stunning (in my opinion).

ultimately, i liked this movie. the story (or lack of) was very "A to B", but i enjoyed its simplicity. i would probably see it again and it's one of those movies - you don't really have to pay attention to get something out of it. that, and jessica alba "takes it off" a couple o' times.

-LOki

LIFE AS A HOUSE

4/5
chris klein, hayden kristensen, jena malone, kristen scott thomas

i can't remember if i've already reviewed this film, but even if i have i think it's worth a second mention. the film centres on george (klein) in his attempts at not only building a house, but also building (or rebuilding) himself and those around him. after being laid off from work and being diagnosed with cancer, george sets out to fulfill his life long dream of building a house, a house he'd be proud to give to sam (christensen), his son.

the only problem is though, sam doesn't want anything to do with him. furthermore, george's ex-wife robin (thomas) has become disenchnated with sam as well as hostile towards george. it's just onebig happy family.

but george forces sam to help him work on the house during the summer, and it is during this time that sam and george rekindle their relationship. not only that, the relationships of all the characters take a turn for the better as a result of george taking charge of his life and building the house.

all actors did an awesome job, apart fom jena malone who i thought was a little bland. kudos expecially to kirsten scott thomas whose subtle expression convey so much emotion.

this film is a real tear jerker and i love it. its about following your dream and finding what you want. go see it, and you'll know what i mean.

-LOki

WAR OF THE WORLDS

3/5
tom cruise, dakota fanning, miranda otto

i remember watching the original version of this film late at night a few years ago, and all i can remember the amount of close-up shots of women screaming their lungs out. like really, really loudly.

the film opens with a voice over by morgan freeman, who says since the beginning of time earth was being watched. and humans, in their infinite complacency, allowed themselves to be watched... and to their own peril. in a series of freak lightnight storms, aliens descend upon the earth and operate huge machines in attempts to annihilate human kind.

the re-make by steven speilberg has retained some of that screaming - well, a lot of it - but packs in a very visually stunning package. i don't even remember the character's names but overall the film was quite enjoyable. the special effects were a mixture of CG and live action, put together almost flawlessly.

acting-wise, it hink everyone we believable. props particularly to dakota fanning ("i am sam") who never ceases to amaze. the directing wasn't as good or fluent as i expected from spielberg, but still bareable. i don't usually like tom cruise, but in this film he was alright. although he did play the lead role, it was as if he could've been ANYONE in that situation. for instance, he hada no special skill or there was nothing particularly exceptional about his character - he was literally an average joe and that allowed him to viewed as such - as opposed to "tom cruise who went off the rails oprah styles".

all in all, a good movie. i prob wouldn't see it again but for it was, i had a good time.

-LOki

NOW THAT I KNOW WHO I AM, I'VE NO REASON TO LIVE

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

that's kinda cool.

ps. for the title of this blog to make sense, check out http://catherinejong.blogspot.com/2005/07/5-days-to-go.html.

-LOki

HOLY SHIT!

What LoTR Character Are You?

"You are most like Aragorn. You have strong convictions and you stick to them. Although you are more of a recluse, you are extremely loyal to the few friends that you have. You are very serious about things, but you like having fun. Fame and fortune mean little to you, and you aren't concerned with being popular. Good for you."

that aint bad.

-LOki

"build this house with me," - george, life as a house.

the last couple of weeks have been pretty up and down for me. i can't even really remember what happened but i can confidently say that at the end of it all, i'm feeling quite alright.

i don't know how people i've been around the last fourteen or so days have felt... though there have been indications that they've had a similar experience too. i can't be sure - none of us can ever be sure.

a lot of the past week has been to do with comic stuff. after our trip to buchan it felt kinda weird being back home, and it seemed that no one wanted to mention the comic or anything. a week went by and i still hadn't been in contact really with anyone. it made me feel a bit stupid in one sense, that maybe it was only me feeling some kinda of abandonment - i dunno.

we had a meeting the other day and things are running smoothly. there were some issues that were dealt with at a previous meeting; it did involve some of us to question the way things were being conducted though i think in the end of it all, it was the best thing that could've happened. i think a majority of us had something we wanted to say but needed someone else to take the reins and steer the meeting in that direction. now, everything's cool.

we had a meeting last night which ended up being a pancake parlour movie night, which i thought was a good break. i enjoyed just sitting around with good friends watching "shaun of the dead" (5/5) and "life as a house" (4/5) and having a bit of vodka and orange. i guess it had been a while since i last did something liek that, having a lot of the people i used to hang out with being busy with other stuff.

this time in eveyone's life is getting tough.

also, the other week - for the first time in a while - me, pete, vito, maher, and jover went to maher's place for a bbq and some general hanging out. due to work and school commitments, among other things, it had been a while since it was just the five of us in maher's backyard having a good time. personally i prefer the small gatherings as opposed to the big ones where you know everyone's face, but can't be bothered intiating (or maintaining) meaninless conversation.

i went to the GB the other night with pete and glenn and as always, they provided great company. that night we all got a little more smashed than we usually did as the beam and colas kept coming. we headed to the joint, a 24/7 pub and met up with vito. we hung around there for a while with some pool and more beer, before finally heading to the apartment jsut before dawn. it was a good night, but the train-ride home was a little wonky.

it was also my younger sister's eighteenth birthday. i was 'supervising' the party (apparently), and i think overall everyone had a good time. there were a few kids that passed out or just lay sprawled on the asphalt, but the next day they were fine. there were also some concerned parents but nothing that couldn't be handled with some sympathetic bullshitting. all in all, a good night.

i think that'll be it for now. i've have three bottle of yakult (they should make them in biger portions!) and i need some sleep. i'm renovating my bathroom tomorrow, so that should be cool. i don't know how it's going to turn out yet, but i'll try keep ya's posted. until then though, for a my thoughts on "life as a house", "war of the worlds", and "mr. and mrs. smith", check out the link in the side bar.

well, check that link out in a couple o' days - when i can't be bothered (or have the energy and attention span) to write the reveiws up!

until next time,

-LOki